An Amusing Nighmare

What, me worry?

 

But you tell me over-and-over-and-over again, my friend

Ah, you don't believe we're on the eve of destruction

 

Barry McGuire



It happened again early this morning, as it has on so many mornings since November 9. I awoke at 2 AM from a not-very-fitful sleep and the first thought on my mind was: That was just a terrible dream, right? That did not really happen, right? I don't really reside in a country where so huge a segment of the population are so fucking, gut-wrenchingly dense, that they would hand over the nuclear codes to a corrupt, unhinged, sociopath and pervert like Donald Trump, right? That didn't really happen, right? RIGHT???

 

Wrong. I walked over to the bedroom window to take a look outside. There it was, outstretched before me, an endless landscape that mocked the senses:

 

Idiot Nation.

 

As horrifically brutal and depressing as the next forty-eight months will undoubtedly be, there is at least one slender and fragile silver lining to be mined from America's electoral stupidity: They sure aren't going to be boring! As has been historically proven each-and-every-time the right wing has ever been able to seize all three branches of the government, the economic destruction of this diseased country is virtually assured. It may be a terrible thing to behold, but it does not make a psychologically healthy person yawn. Societal carnage has a way of keeping one on his-or-her toes, you know what I'm talking about?

Of course, it's almost a given that, when the economic cataclysm does indeed come crashing down right at their front doors, these very same, heartbreakingly dumb and clueless Americans will find some way to place the blame for the disaster at the feet of the man who, for seven-and-a-half years, has led the United States through an unprecedented surge of economic growth. Just in case you might have lost count, that amounts to ninety consecutive months, folks. Expect these trends to begin to reverse themselves before the summer is upon us. You may also reasonably expect the economy to completely collapse before the year is out. Within that very same frame of time, don't be too surprised to find yourselves nostalgic for George W. Bush. It's going to be that kind of time in America. Bad craziness indeed. Brace yourselves for the storm.

And speaking of the halfwit from Crawford, Texas: As alarmed as I was at this time sixteen-years-ago when the disgusting little thug was in the process of packing his gear for the move to 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue, I never - for a moment - doubted that we would survive him. Now, I'm not so sure. Donald Trump's major contribution to Dubya's political legacy is that Bush would only have to languish for a relatively short eight years, tied with James Buchanan, for the dubious honor of being remembered as the most incompetent chief-executive in the history of human mediocrity. In no time at all, Trump will surpass them both. Count on it.

He has already begun to staff his administration with anti-Semites and white nationalists. Honestly, if you're not seriously alarmed by what's ahead for you and your loved ones, you're either (1) too mean and stupid to be fully functional in polite society, or (2) you haven't been paying attention.

NOTE TO MY FRIENDS WHO VOTED FOR TRUMP: As far as you're concerned,  I would like to believe it's the latter of the two.

After the complete failure of the Bush years,  I was naïve enough to believe that America might finally have learned its lesson. The first piece I wrote on this site ten-and-a-half years ago predicted that Bush would be the last Republican president. I was still making that prediction as late as the summer of 2016. I should have remembered the words of turn-of-the-century journalist, H.L. Mencken, who once famously observed, "No one ever went broke underestimating the intelligence of the American people." After this calamitous year, I promise you that I'll never again stray far from such sage wisdom. I'm suspecting that the Donald will be reelected in four years, and I trust that the inmates of this doomed republic will be just fine 'n' dandy with that.

So there you have it, folks: Another thrilling adventure in the action-packed life of Idiot Nation. Such weird times we live in, ay?

Tom Degan
Goshen, NY
 

SUGGESTED VIEWING:

Full Frontal with Samantha Bee

This woman is my latest crush. It doesn't get much better than Samantha.
`
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FNEvLr7Cdu4&list=PLur87nTwD0BtIreRwNBMG63ZCc4EXo9F9

Prepare to laugh loudly.

BREAKING NEWS:

Debbie Reynolds has passed away - one day after daughter, Carrie Fisher. It doesn't get much more poignant than that, does it? I always thought that she was lovely. Eddie Fisher was a putz for dumping her for Liz Taylor. Seriously.

That Hollywood is fading away.